Who Killed Jesus, and Why?
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© 1996 J. F. "Jeff" Cogan
You Can Read Bible Sex Facts
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Includes information for parents about child molestation, sex education in the public school, and information on how to talk to young children about sex, when they ask.
Your Right to Know the Facts before You Kill Your Baby
Adoption versus Abortion
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Questions and Answers
Sex Facts Home Page
of Contents for Part One:
1. Child Molestation
2. Sex Education in the Public School
3. How do I talk to our children about sex? Asked Questions with Answers
Bonus for Parents Guidelines for Spanking Your Children
Links to Other Resources
1. Child Molestation. How Old Should My Child Be Before I Talk About Sexual Molestation? As soon as your children can understand the paragraph below, read it to them and discuss it fully to be sure they understand what you are talking about:
If any grown-up person (or another child) has been doing anything to you in the private places of your body, tell Mommy or Daddy about it right away. And if any grown-up person has been asking you to do things to the private places of that person's body, tell Mommy or Daddy about it right away, too.
If your child does not know the meaning of "private places of your body", identify the genital and rectal areas as "private places". The places covered by your underwear.
here's a special message for you, too.
If your child of any age reports what may be sexual molestation by an older person,
pay immediate attention to what you are hearing. You see, the demon-infested persons
who do these kinds of things to children can keep on doing them because of fear
and shame. Not their own fear and shame but the fear and shame in the minds of
the children they are molesting. Remember, children can't lie or fantasize about
things of which they have no prior knowledge. This includes such activities as
oral sex, and rape with a foreign object.
2. Sex Education In The Public School. Should The Public School Have A Role In The Sex Education Of Our Children? Yes, as long as that education is value-full and not value-free.
As a rule, the primary responsibility for your children's sex education rests with the family and your church. The school may play a supporting role but only if this education supports the moral values taught in the home and church.
Value-free sex education is worse than useless, it's dangerous. In this type of sex education program, there are no references to the moral absolutes established by God in the Bible about such issues as premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality. For example, homosexuality is seldom taught as morally wrong in a value-free sex education. The only reference to right and wrong will be about so-called safe sex and the danger of AIDS and other sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs).
The major line of defense against immorality is the home. If you as parents feel unprepared for this responsibility, use this booklet and others like it to absorb the basic information. Then feed it back to your children as they need it. If you answer all questions as they are asked and within the context of the standards of the Bible, you will have nothing to fear from the public school's sex education program.
3. How do I talk to our children about sex? Here are a few rules to follow as you fulfill your responsibility as your child's primary source of information regarding sexual matters.
A. Be truthful and factual. Never make reference to the "stork" as the source of babies, or any other fiction like it. Don't talk about "the birds and the bees" unless a child asks specific questions about their reproductive processes. Generally, children will ask questions about human reproduction first.
B. Answer each question as it comes up, being very factual but not going beyond what is asked. If your child is old enough to ask a question, he or she is old enough to get a biologically-correct, age-apropriate answer. Be sure of this: if you don't give an answer now, someone else will later. That person may be another child who will provide misinformation or an adult (such as a public-school teacher) without your Christian value system. Never pass up the distinct honor of being the first person to tell your child about sex -- and from a Biblical perspective.
C. Use biologically-correct terms. The external sex organs are the items which will be talked about and asked about first, so start with these. A boy has a penis. A girl has a vulva. Although "vagina" is a correct term, it refers to the canal which links the female's vulva and the uterus (womb), not the externally-visible genital area.
Our oldest daughter, Jane, is now in her mid forties. When Naomi was expecting our first son, Donald, Jane was three. We made no effort to hide the fact a new baby was on the way and Jane had a normal interest in the coming event. There were three separate and brief conversations when Jane got all the information she needed at that point in time.
Conversation number one, while we were riding in the car:
Jane: "Daddy, what is happening inside Mommy's tummy?"
Daddy: "God is helping a new baby to grow there".
Jane: Pointing out the car window, "Mommy! Look at those cows out there in the field!"
In this conversation, Jane asked for information, got a satisfactory answer, and immediately changed the subject to something else of interest to her, for the moment, at least.
Conversation number two, some days later:
Jane: "Daddy, if God is helping a baby grow in Mommy's tummy, how did it get there?"
Daddy: "Mommy and I love each other. When a Daddy loves a Mommy, he puts his penis inside her body between her legs so that his seed can start a baby growing up in her tummy."
a question is asked, the biologically-correct answer is given, and the matter
was not pursued, at that moment, at least
Conversation number three, some time later:
Jane: (Who already knew about twins.) "Mommy, I hope I have a lot of twins when I grow up."
Mommy: "Why?" (Puzzled.)
Jane: "Because I want to have lots of babies but I don't want my husband to do that penis thing too many times. That sounds yucky!"
In this conversation, information received in previous sessions is processed and a value judgment is made, for the moment at least.
A. Be truthful and factual.
B. Answer each question as it comes up, being very factual but not going beyond what is asked.
C. Use biologically-correct terms.
As your children come to realize that you will answer all questions without fictional mumbo-jumbo and embarrassed squirming, you will become their first and preferred source of information about sexual matters. This will be an increasingly valuable relationship as these children grow up through puberty into young adulthood.
Main Table of Contents
Return to Bible Sex Facts Home Page
Preface and Introduction
Part 2: For Single Persons
Part 3: For Married Persons
Appendix A: Glossary
Appendix B: What the Bible Says About Sex
Appendix C: Questions with Answers
Appendix D: Normal Is Better than Average
Appendix E: A Special Message for Gays and Lesbians
Appendix F: Feedback From Readers
Demon Possession Handbook Home Page
Bible Sex Facts Home Page
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